Red Robin Colossus Burger

red_rob_colossusCompanies spend a lot of money on advertising because they know that if they hit the right chords, we will believe almost anything and do what they want us to do.  Red Robin hit the right chords with me today as I walked into one of their locations and gazed upon a standing banners by the entrance touting their “Colossus Burger” which was being offered for a limited time.  Noticing the “for a limited time” and seeing how good it looked, I knew I could not risk waiting until my next visit to order it and I needed to order the Colossus today.  Staring at the photo as I waited to be seated I could already smell the heaping pile of smoked brisket, the cheese, the (what appeared to be) grilled onions and their beef patty cooked to as close to a medium rare as I could talk the server into letting me have it cooked.

A photo from the Red Robin website is included with a link to what is currently the page advertising the burger.  I am not sure if and when the page’s content will change, but in the meantime you can check it out on their site.

In a Red Robin packed with customers undoubtedly there to also satisfy their thirst for the perfect burger, I anxiously awaited the unveiling of my Colossus burger.  I nibbled on some fries that they provided to help hold myself and the other people at my table over while they took their time prepping the masterpiece which I had hoped would soon be hitting my lips.  I watched tray full of burgers after tray full of burgers being carried out from the back, seeming to make a b-line for my table only to turn at the last minute and be delivered to another table nearby.  Like a jealous little child on Christmas wanting to know what others had received, I tried to peak as their burgers were being placed in front of them to get my eye on the Colossus.  I did not see anything remotely close to what was in the photo by the door.  Could it be that I was the only one ordering the Colossus?  No, It couldn’t be.

The time finally came.  A tray was being held by a Red Robin server next to our table.  With care he placed the burgers down in front of those that had ordered them.  Mine was the last.  Figures…my luck.  Well, good things come to those that wait, right?  It seemed as though everything moved in slow motion as the plate was lifted from the tray and slowly placed in front of me as if to tease my eyes with the sight of the Colossus Burger, keeping it from dancing on my pallet just that much longer.  Then time stood still.  The plate with the bottomless fries (which really starts out with about a whopping 6 fries) and the colossus burger was finally placed in front of me.  I stared at the plate while the noise and movement around slowly picked up.  I could hear mumbling getting louder, and slowly getting more clear.  “Ryan, Ryan” someone at my table said.  I tilted my head up and looked at them and gave them a confused “what?”.  They replied with “I said is that it?  is that the big burger by the door?”.  I replied with a disappointed “I don’t know” before my head slowly turned back to my burger so I could reexamine it.

I stared at the burger.  A few pieces of lettuce seemed to stick out of the side and it looked shorter than other burgers at my table.  It did not seem very “Colossus”, whatever that means.  I started to question if they had given me the right burger.  Maybe this was an honest mistake and they had placed the wrong meal on the tray and would soon be hurrying out with an apology, quickly exchanging the burger that was set in front of me with the correct one, the Colossus, the meat packed tower of goodness that was pictured by the door.  I did not want to touch it, because if they were going to switch it out, maybe they would give it to it’s rightful owner and I would not want them getting something I had manhandled.  I waited.  Time slowed down again, but nothing.  It then occurred to me that I am a sucker and all that money paid to the advertising companies worked on at least one customer…me.  I Kudos advertising company.  It worked.

Here is a photo of what I got.  I was kind enough to peel back the bun and let you take a look inside.  I placed the photos by the one that was one the advertising banner so you can see if they look remotely alike.


I was not expecting flames shoot out from around the plate as shown in the advertisement, but I will admit that if they did that it would have been awesome.  I was expecting something that closely resembled the burger pictured in the advertisement.

I am not sure what that sauce is that is shown right below the top bun, but I failed to see any of that.  I also did not notice heaping amount of brisket that was shown in the advertisement.  Would I order this again?  No, not unless I wanted my burger-eating dreams crushed again, but then again if  ordered it again the advertising should be getting a high five from someone at Red Robin because they not only got me once, but twice.  The advertisement mentions that this is for a limited time and I am guessing that is probably best for this burger because it is probably not something people will miss and is surely not something I would tell friends tat they need to try before it disappears forever.   On a good note, this burger did give me some ideas about how to make a better burger at home, and I bet I can get it to look a lot more like the photo than Red Robin did.

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